Saturday, June 12, 2010

Good Morning

Good morning, I am up just had breakfast. Last night Kyle ad I had some fun cuddling and watching movies. So far so good. Allan in San Diego is going to come chill with us on Wed. We received word, we will be having a party when we get to San Diego. Scott, Kyle's brother, is graduating to Sheriff on Wed too. We will be going to the graduation. It is another day. I have some biscuits and grave, scrambled eggs and sausage. Also, had Orange Juice and Milk. OMG I am full, it was good. I had several conversations from Kyle's friends in San Diego. They seem to be really cool. Some even funny as hell. Well, I am still tired. We went to bed around 3AM. I am going to hit the sack again. lol

Have a great day.


Friday, June 11, 2010


Today I arrived in OKC. It was some what a bitch to get to the hotel. We had stopped for directions and a nice guy had showed us the way to the hotel. When we arrived at the hotel it was a nightmare. First off, there is a pool but no water in it. I was like WTF because when I called before booking I had asked about the pool. They should of told us that there will be no water in it. I let that slide. Then we settled in the room and turned on the AC. For around 45 minutes the AC was not blowing cold air. I had called the front desk and they had said they will send a repair man to fix it. 25 minutes later no repairman. Kyle had went to the front desk and the front desk man said he had already been to the room. The door has been open the whole time and he never came by. I waited and called the front desk and kinda got snippy with them and said if they don't wanna fix the AC then switch rooms. FINALLY the repairman came and switched AC's. Now it is NICE in here. finally.

Thanks to Tiffy, I got my tongue ring back in. Grant it it is pink but I don't care. I had to force it in because it was starting to close. It kinda hurt but not much. Thanks Tiffy for the tongue ring.

Kyle just does not understand on how much I care for family. Tiffy and the kids are apart of my family. The month that Kyle was here was bad. Both on Tiff and Kyles ends. I understand on both ends on their points of view. I wasn't really happy for that month because I was being torn in a thousand directions. I was in the middle of all the drama and I was just quiet. I felt that if I open my mouth I would hurt someone and I never want to hurt anyone. Tiffany has always been there for me no matter what. After getting back from the hospital when Kyle was in there, Kyle and I have gotten a lot better on communicating. Grant it I know I was feeling the frustration on both ends, meaning Kyle and everyone around me. I felt a lot of negativity . I hate being an impath you pick up everything around me. But, that is me and I just blocked the other energies around me. It hurt me that I hurt both Kyle and Tiffany. I had tried to explain to Kyle how much I love my family sometimes he just don't listen. It just does not click with him. I do appreciate everything Tiff and Jimmy has done for me. Apart of me feels I want to take the chance with Kyle and see what it leads. I know he does love me and I deff. love him. He jokes a lot and gets him in trouble. He needs to calm down on the jokes. I want so bad to have an awesome family with Tiff and Kyle happy together. I have a feeling it won't happen. To be honest, I see too much similar characteristics in them that will butt heads all the time. It just hurts me a lot.

Kyle is passed out on the bed. He is listening to Tech N9ne. I know I can't wait for the experience in San Diego. I know I will have a lot of experience there that I will not experience anywhere else. The thing is, I feel safe with Kyle. When everyone left and we got back from McDonalds, he had put his arms around me and told me he is glad that I am with him because he loves me very much. I almost saw tears in his eyes. It felt like he was holding back the tears. He wasn't going to just show it with me. Do you know how much feeling I got that from him saying that. It was the feeling he was not lieing and he was not bull shitting me. I almost cried.

I am going to get off of here and go cuddle with Kyle. I love cuddleing with him it feels like when I cuddle with him that all the worries disappear and everything is ok in my life. Well, have a great night Blogspot and viewers.

Until Next Time,

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Start of this blog:

Hello, I am going to try this out. I am wanting to have a blog about my life. Well, this is the rundown, tomorrow I am going to Oklahoma City in a hotel for 3 nights. Monday, I will be heading on the AMTRAK going to San Diego to visit. I have butterflies in my stomach. I don't know what to expect in San Diego.I will be in a new place, new people. I know it will be a good experience, because I have never been on a train, been to Cali, and never saw the ocean. So overall, it will be an awesome experience. Today I had finished packing. Jack had just arrived to pick up the kids not even 40 min. ago. He still has the bad leg. He arrived in a Ford Focus. The bad thing, no cruise control. He had overall he said drove around 11 hours. DAMN that is a bitch. He did not go off on Kyle, which I am surprised. He was quite nice and polite. According to Tiffany, he was pissed on the different shit that was gong on. To be honest,. I am so proud of Kyle. He has not caused any drama. Now when it comes to Kyle, we are both again on going to Cali. Yesterday we had a fight. He had made the comment that he did not like kissing. He slept on the couch most of the night. I told him he didn't have to but he insisted. Around midnight to 1 am he finally came into the room and asking if he can sleep with me in the bed. Of course, I am not going to say no. I love that boy. To be honest, I couldn't sleep anyhow because I am so use to having him by my side. I feel so safe and secure when we are cuddling and about to go to bed.There is something about him that just wants to hold him forever. I know when I get in the middle of the drama, my relationship with Kyle gets bad. A lot of it is because I am so hurt and focused on trying to keep the peace that I forget to focus my love with him. I know it hurts him sometimes and it hurts me knowing that sometimes I hurt him. I never want to hurt him. He is the last person that I want to hurt.